Here is a word cloud of the first paragraph of a short story I’m working on:
This is the first fiction I’ve written since grad school. I’ve written here before that I don’t feel the compulsion to write. And now I have to confess that here I sit, feeling that generative energy after all, and kind of resenting it. It’s hard to build something from the ground up when it doesn’t come in a structured way. I like imposing some order on the chaos, or finding the order in what looks like someone else’s madness. I even like just watching the chaos churn. What I don’t like is getting these random zings out of the blue and having no idea what to do with them.
But this is a real story, something worth excavating despite my often vocal misgivings. Pieces of it come at me in different forms, usually when I’m doing something else. I throw it all into a Google doc, watching for signs of life without knowing what those signs might look like. I seem to have a nucleus but not the atoms, and a fully-formed elbow, and a small cluster of stars. And I don’t know whether I’m building a boat or a jigsaw puzzle or a planet-destroying death ray.
It can be tough to trust the creative process — especially when it seems so haphazard, and when it’s something that’s new to us. I struggle with it all the time, the trusting of this weird, unwieldy process that’s so new to me. But that’s the cool thing — no matter what it looks like or how it develops, it’s all part of the creative process, and a win-win situation.
Looking forward to reading your story, when/if you’re ready to release it. You already know I love your writing.
Hi David,
I love dropping in on your blog. I share some of your general creative instincts and angst so I always feel I get to know myself better when you share your own reflections. The compassion I feel for you echoes back. That’s quite an achievement in a virtual relationship. Thank you!
One of the really useful frame shifts we talk about with respect to having a vision is whether it’s yours or your its. Clearly you are in this dance with your creations — very beautiful!