High school week continues with a longer prose piece, circa 1996. I was such an earnest kid, but already much too old to be writing sentimental stuff like this.
Imagine a heart. It has stopped beating and lays dormant in the chest of a dead man who lays on a table. Men and women surround the man and try to make his heart beat again. They want it to beat and they know it wants to beat again. The man is young and obviously has a full life ahead of him. “Where there’s a will, there’s a way,” the doctors all say. But the man isn’t listening. He doesn’t know if his heart should beat again.
Imagine two hearts, a tiny one beating along with a bigger, much stronger one. Imagine the security that baby heart feels, with Mother nearby. Follow the tiny heart as it grows up through the years. Soot it is strong, like the one who protects it. It no longer wants protection. When it wants to leave the sanctuary of home, the strong one doesn’t want to let it go. She doesn’t know how to let her child grow.
Imagine two hearts with the same wants and needs, the same hopes and dreams. They are drawn to each other in a way they can’t understand. What if they stay together? They could both recapture the old feeling of security. They could add to that feeling a new sensation, combining the past with the wonder and excitement they have discovered. These two have sought each other out, felt the thrill of discovery. What would that feel like? So easy to understand and virtually impossible to explain. Nobody knows how to express it.
Imagine a broken heart, abandoned by its mate and left to continue the journey of life alone. With nothing to keep it going. Living just to keep from dying. How could this heart go on, without a reason to feel, without a focus? Its wants and needs build up with no chance of release. Somewhere inside this broken heart there is a love that continues to burn. The flame flickers but never fades away, and this heart doesn’t know how to carry on.
Imagine a wounded heart, confused and unable to understand what has happened. Imagine watching helplessly as its love is torn from its side. Imagine again finding its mate, and finding there is no longer a connection between them. The time and distance between the two hearts has burned away the memory. Imagine trying to move on, and just when it begins to want to live again, it is damaged in another way.
Imagine a bleeding heart, bleeding from a bullet wound in the chest. Crimson tears flow from the pain of this wound and all of the old ones. All the healing, the will to live that was only recently regained, everything is undone.
Imagine again the heart of the dying man. Imagine his thoughts and feelings as his heart slowed its beating, giving up its grip on life and slowly slipping away. Along this journey, a heart blossoms and it wilts. The rose had just regained a whisper of a new bud when it began to die. The doctors know all hearts should beat. The man knows the voyage has been long. Will this heart beat again? Only it can know.





